(March) Ponderings - Danil & Peter's Home

[Kyo Suzuki]

Kyo was seated at the medium-sized desk of the room his host family had offered him to sleep in, still dressed in his clothes from earlier in the day, his school bag still in the same spot he'd left it two days ago, Friday, when he'd returned home from school. His cell phone was buzzing from somewhere inside the bag, as it had been all weekend, and as it had been mainly because he hadn't picked it up. He'd expected it was Alex from his class, wanting help on homework that Kyo couldn't quite provide at the moment. On the desk in front of him were papers, many papers, all of them related to the conversation he'd overheard between Linda and her boyfriend.

It had been the only thing on his mind for a matter of days now. He ate, slept, and breathed Nic's story. It wasn't even so much a matter of choice anymore, because he simply couldn't keep his mind from the matter. In fact, he wondered how he'd been holding out so long keeping the secret from any of them--Danil, Peter, Nic, his classmates....He'd never been much in the way of lying, didn't believe in it, but somehow it seemed his deep-rooted concern hadn't shown through well enough to alarm anyone he was close to. He was even managing to keep on top of schoolwork, though the resulting work probably appeared done half-heartedly to his teachers compared to his former work ethic.

Kyo's mind was hard at work trying to find the correct solution to the problem before him. Back at the church, even though his time alone to think had been short-lived (his crying hadn't helped matters either), he'd ultimately decided to keep the news to himself for as long as he could until he could figure out some suitable solution. Because of the nature of whatever he'd just gotten himself involved in, he was aware that if he said or did the wrong thing, he put a lot of people's safety on the line. Not just his own, but more importantly, Nic's and Danil's and Peter's........Kyo had never dealt with people like Linda and her real, nasty boyfriend Jeff before, but he knew he was smart enough not to test how far the pair would go either. Linda had already proven herself ruthless, taking away Nic's hearing simply because he' had a crush on her when he was, what, ten? And apparently that hadn't quenched her sadistic thirst.

Kyo shivered at the thought.

The thought of how Linda had caused Nic so much pain and sorrow and trouble, and yet how innocent and calm she was able to be around him...How sweet and charming she acted now when she was with him, as if she'd never had anything to do with Nic's disability. Kyo wondered if Nic was even aware that Linda had been behind the first attack, because he couldn't imagine Nic just falling for this girl all over again, even despite the fact that he was a genuinely good-hearted guy.

And Kyo was sure he'd figured out Linda's new intentions, the real reason why he had not yet figured out the right solution to the entire mess.

It was exactly that, Linda's seduction of Nic....Kyo didn't want to act like the sharpest crayon in the box, but he knew what Linda was doing. He was smart enough, at least, to see how she was making moves for Nic, pretending she was romantically interested in him. Because when she finally got him wrapped around her finger, she was going to play him again. Kyo knew she had, in a way, already, especially as it was another key reason why Kyo was holding back from telling Nic. The thoughts running through his mind there....How would Nic take it? How would Nic feel if Kyo just randomly came up to him one of these days and told him the truth about the girl he liked?

And if he told Danil and Peter instead....Well, it might be a comfort, but it probably wouldn't be one for very long. The more people Kyo got involved, the more people he knew he was putting at stake. If he told Danil or Peter, they might tell Nic, and then the word would get out. Linda might find out Danil or Peter's involvement and retaliate. Or even if Danil and Peter called the police...well, the police were good. The police were definitely a good thing, except...well, nothing had been said between Linda and her boyfriend that could warrant an arrest. And Kyo knew if they got Jeff hooked up with the police in any way, shape, or form, as soon as he got out, he was surely the type of guy who would come after them for it.

No, it was just too risky. Those weren't even all the possibilities, and it was already too risky.

But Kyo knew where he had to stop things. He just couldn't let it happen again, not when he had the ability to stop it. If Linda was planning to get Nic to make some kind of public display for her, in some way that would involve her real boyfriend Jeff and lead to another gross attack on Nic, then Kyo was determined to make every effort he could to ruin her plans. He was no longer above pulling Linda's hair, whining at her, throwing tantrums, or even spitting on her anymore. He would stop it. That was all there was to it.

Kyo leaned forward onto his desk, burying one hand into his hair as if the closer he could get to touching his brain, the better he could tap it awake into thinking of the answer to everything. Glancing down at the long stretch of paper in front of him (all of which was in Japanese and even then abbreviated in order to keep the notes private from any who might find them), Kyo tried to visualize patterns that weren't there, answers that wouldn't appear....Truth be told, he wasn't entirely sure what he was looking for any longer. He just knew he didn't have a choice, he had to come up with something, had to at least figure out how to put this all into words in a way that would make it....

....well, as easy and best as possible to tell Nic what he'd found out.

And Kyo had written down everything he'd heard between Linda and her boyfriend: all Jeff had said about beating Nic up if he got involved with Linda, all Linda had said about her childhood with Nic, even everything they'd joked with about him, Kyo, just in the event it somehow proved useful. It was an overload of information.

And thinking about that....

Kyo shifted uneasily in his chair.

There was something else he'd forgotten....

There had been some sense of hesitation when Linda had seen Nic's name or number appear on her phone that day. When Jeff had asked her who it was, she'd looked fairly uncomfortable. Even when she'd managed to respond, Kyo had recognized her unease...he too had considered it a good save on her part.

Which meant that Linda hadn't planned on telling Jeff about Nic....right? If she'd been so worried about Jeff thinking Nic was something other than a friend, then she couldn't possibly be planning to attack Nic again. Though why, Kyo wondered, lead Jeff to believe that it had been all fun and games the first time Linda had been involved with Nic's attack? Unless she was just stupid and--

As his thoughts became both muddled and clearer at the same time, a sudden knock at the door sent Kyo into a frenzy. Half-panicking and half too mentally exhausted to do anything at all, Kyo brushed papers aside and stuck others in his desk drawers, pulling his math book from his backpack nearby and throwing it onto the desktop along with his notebook to pretend he'd been working on school things instead.

"Ah, pu-lease come in!"

Kyo straightened up in the desk chair, trying to replace the look of uneasy surprise with one of bored homework managing.

[Angela]

It was not easy for Danil to get to a sense of normalcy after his breakdown that night in February, but he managed to be strong for Kyo's sake. He knew that Kyo needed his support and love, as he always had, and he was determined not to be like Andrei under similar circumstances and abandon him. Danil was doing okay for now. Whenever he felt upset, he would call Zhenya or his new therapist, Brian. He'd switched from Mrs. Sweetwater after his breakdown. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but he felt a male therapist would be better to confide in than a female one. All the same, he mostly called Zhenya.

Overall, Danil was okay, considering the circumstances. But he was starting to be worried about Kyo. It had been over a month since the incident, and although he had talked with him about it before, lately Danil noticed some slight changes in Kyo's behavior and attitude. For the past week or so, he wasn't spending as much time with his friends, he wasn't practicing his singing as much as he did before, and he didn't seem to be doing his schoolwork as well as he had been.

Danil pondered if he was just worried about him, which certainly seemed likely given what happened in February. He had not told him that he considered suicide; he didn't want to do that to him. He did tell him the basics of what happened, while still trying to be gentle about it. It was also kept from the press, closely guarded so that Kyo would not find out secondhand. So, was he worried about Danil? He didn't know.

If he wasn't, then what was wrong? Something at school that he wasn't telling him or Peter about? Again, that seemed likely. But no one from the school had told him anything of the sort. That didn't necessarily mean that nothing was going on. It had to be hard for a male Japanese exchange student to suddenly be thrown into the mix with a Russian-American gay couple in a culture he was still getting to know... But again, if that was the issue, why was it just coming up now?

Danil and Peter really had no idea what was wrong. They spent several evenings with each other debating on what Kyo's problem could be. There were times when Danil would hear Kyo crying in his room, and Peter would confirm this another time. They talked to Nic, who said that he didn't know what was wrong either. Zhenya had called the week before to tell them that he saw Kyo in church, and although he was asked to keep it secret, felt that the two host parents should know that their exchange son was extremely stressed and upset. Danil and Peter reached a consensus that they would let Kyo come to them, with whatever it was. It would only do more harm than good to try and push him to tell them.

All the same, Danil wondered if he couldn't start to help in one way or another. He decided he'd start just by being there with him. He saw the perfect opportunity when Vaska scratched at Kyo's closed door. The cat wasn't accustomed to doors being shut on him, and when they were, he would whine and scratch until he was allowed to at least look in. Vaska's favorite thing to do just for his amusement and to tick the human residents of the house off, was to go to the bathroom door when it was shut, when he knew someone was inside, wait a minute or so, and scratch and whine. Then, at last, when the door would be opened, Vaska would look at whoever was in the bathroom for a moment, and walk arrogantly away with his tail up in the air.

Danil chuckled, walking into the kitchen as Vaska continued to paw at the door to Kyo's room. As soon as he smelled a tuna can being opened, however, the cat ran straight to the kitchen and rubbed himself against Danil's legs, purring and nuzzling. Danil chuckled and made some sandwiches for himself and Kyo, and set the leftover tuna in the fridge. He then walked to Kyo's room, Vaska following close behind. Danil knocked and waited for an answer.

He smiled at Kyo's greeting and opened the door.

"Someone wanted to see you," he said, gesturing with his head to the floor. Danil leaned over and offered the plate of a tuna sandwich and some celery sticks with peanut butter on top. "I thought you might also want something to eat," he said with a loving smile.

Vaska leapt onto Kyo's lap and sat down, staring at the plate, licking his lips eagerly, then licking his paw. After the plate just hung above for a few moments, Vaska grew impatient and stood on his hind legs to try to get to the sandwich.

[Kyo Suzuki]

Kyo glanced down quickly at his math book, as if just looking would somehow get his mind where it needed to be, though it was admittedly hard to get those images of Linda and her boyfriend and all the woman's other flings with Nic out of mind, especially when matters had only gotten more complicated. Kyo knew he needed a good long sleep on what he'd just recalled, a good long sleep that probably wouldn't be tonight, or tomorrow, or even any time this week unless he was really lucky.

Danil came into the room smiling, but Kyo felt something was off. He couldn't quite place what and he didn't want to venture a guess, just in case it was his own hectic mind playing games with him, but he still tried to return his host father's generous smile. The man had even kindly made him something to eat. Smelling the tuna fish sandwich almost instantly, it suddenly dawned on Kyo that he hadn't eaten all day, just been cooped up in his room, and now his stomach was taking a nasty revenge. He put a free hand over it to keep it from making too much noise.

"Someone wanted to see you," Danil said warmly, holding out the plate of food. "I thought you might also want something to eat."

As he spoke, Kyo caught a glance of the yummy-looking sandwich and some fresh-looking celery stalks with peanut butter coating the top. It really did look delicious.

Apparently Vaska thought so as well, because a moment later, Kyo's lap had become his perch. Kyo jumped back slightly--he'd become all kinds of jumpy lately, it wasn't that he was afraid of Vaska or unexpecting of his usual antics--and tried to maintain a smile as the sneaky feline looked longingly at Kyo's plate.

"He must be unhappy," Kyo replied, accepting the plate of food with a grateful nod of his head and putting it on top of his math book, far enough out of reach of the poor cat. "I think this was his room before I took it."

As the cat went up on its hind legs to get Danil's snack, Kyo lowered his pen onto his unused math book and began to pet Vaska's soft fur. The cat was still busy trying to get at the "yummies" being so close within reach, but with Kyo's ministrations, he turned for a moment, gave him a quick but penetrating look--Kyo shifted a little, you couldn't hide anything from animals, they just sensed it--then went back to his food hunt.

Hopefully Vaska would interest himself in Kyo's predicament only after Danil was out of the way of possibly being troubled and only once the food itself was gone. Kyo had to admit he wouldn't mind sharing the secret with someone else, someone else whom it undoubtedly couldn't hurt.

But that being said....

Kyo leaned back in the desk chair, still caressing Vaska's soft coat. "Danyaru-san....I have been so busy this recent time that I have not been very fu-rendly, I think. I am sorry about this." He bowed his torso as far forward as he could without having to ingest cat furs or knock Vaska from his otherwise comfy perch. "I feel bad to be so lonely recently, but I promise it....it is because I am working hard."

He noted the lines of concern in his host father's brow, a look in his eyes that spoke that he too wasn't saying everything on his mind, and suddenly felt the lump that had remained unfailingly in his throat since his chance encounter with Linda and Jeff double in size. Kyo wasn't much of an actor himself, but he imagined that if Danil was really as worried as he seemed, he could either see through Kyo's facades of being "fine," or he was also facing some kind of trouble of his own.

Kyo bit a lip. If it was the latter....

"Danyaru-san....Maybe it has just been me being so quiet lately, but I think in that way I have not been paying enough attention to my family and my friends." He hesitated for a moment. Danil probably wanted Kyo interrogating him about as much as Kyo wanted the latter to happen to him. "Is everything okay, Danyaru-san?"

[Angela]

Danil chuckled softly at Vaska's antics, and he put his hand on Kyo's back, rubbing it slightly in an effort to relieve some of the stress he saw on his face and in his posture.

"It's all right," he assured him, and leaned down to kiss the top of Kyo's head. "This time of year is always stressful, for everyone. Finals coming up in school, I leave for Sweden in two weeks. It's understandable that we should be a little distant from each other. If anything I'm the one who should make it up to you." He sighed, and sat on a nearby chair beside Kyo. Vaska purred and began to knead Kyo's pants, swishing his tail back and forth as he lay down at last, still waiting for some food. Danil had his own plate of food and thought that was a good excuse for them to talk. Kyo's question caught him off-guard, but he smiled all the same. "Usually it's Parker who asks me that," he said with a long, drawn-out sigh. "I've been wrapped up in myself a lot. I'm sorry. That makes me distant too." He still hadn't explained, and he knew it. He took a deep breath. "I... am just stressed with the competition... with Shotsky and Kovalev... that's all..." He did his best to avoid the big issue, and dreaded saying his former coach's name, knowing Kyo would be upset. "It's nothing to do with you," he told him truthfully with a shrug. "I want you to understand this."

He picked up one half of his sandwich, and ran his finger along part of the crust to get some tuna, and held it up to Vaska, who happily started licking his finger, mewing gratefully after he finished.

[Kyo Suzuki]

Kyo was grateful for Danil's support, and admittedly, he didn't realize how stressed he must have looked to his host father until he began to rub his back. His back and shoulders felt really stiff, knotted; if he went to his parents' preferred massage therapists, they probably would have told him he was a walking wreck.

Kyo tried to straighten a little bit in his chair, but the feeling of tenseness remained, even despite Danil's tender touch.

"It's all right,"," his host father assured, kissing the top of his head. "This time of year is always stressful, for everyone. Finals coming up in school, I leave for Sweden in two weeks. It's understandable that we should be a little distant from each other. If anything I'm the one who should make it up to you."

Kyo blinked and looked to his caretaker as the man took a seat beside him. A pair of claws buried themselves in his legs and he glanced down at Vaska only subconsciously, too preoccupied with everything else to question the cat's gestures.

"I almost forgot it....You are going to Sweden soon...." It was just about breathless. Danil had already gotten started answering his other questions.

"Usually it's Parker who asks me that. I've been wrapped up in myself a lot. I'm sorry. That makes me distant too." Danil sighed. In fact, he looked just as distressed as Kyo felt, and suddenly the latter regretted troubling him about things.

"I... am just stressed with the competition... with Shotsky and Kovalev... that's all...It's nothing to do with you. I want you to understand this."

Kyo watched carefully. Danil looked as though he was trying to shrug the whole issue off, make it seem far less worse than it was. It was a good tactic......if you could make yourself believe in the more positive aspects to the problem. But he didn't get the feeling that was the case at all with Danil. Not that he wouldn't believe in the positives, but couldn't. Kyo couldn't say much about himself either, because he was also holding something back, and at least Danil had told him even a small part of what was on his mind.

As if sensing the unease settling in the room, Danil gathered a small bit of tuna on one finger and held it out to Vaska, who abandoned kneading Kyo's pants in exchange for some delicious food. Kyo watched the cat move, how content it looked, and suddenly began to wonder what it might be like to be in the cat's place. Never having to think hard over anything, always being cared for, always able to sleep, getting away with breaking things or doing something wrong with little more than a short scolding......He really wouldn't have minded being a cat just then.

Kyo coughed slightly. "Well.....I want to talk to you more and make you feel better, Danyaru-san, but if you are as tired as me, then maybe we both better get some sleep. I know it is not even 8 PM, but..." (That wasn't quite true, since even if he wasn't going to go back to pondering Linda and Nic, he still had homework he intended to at least try to do. He just didn't want to trouble Danil further, unless his host father still possibly wanted or needed to confide in him.)

[Angela]

Danil smiled sadly. The boy had been hanging around Parker, it seemed. "Malenki lapushka," he said affectionately. He had called him "little paw" many times now. "It's nice that you care so much about me." He took a breath, and paused, gauging Kyo's feelings. "The truth is, I'm worried about facing Shotsky," he admitted. He worried that he had just opened Kyo's old wounds with regards to that man, but he hoped that he didn't.

[Kyo Suzuki]

In fact, Danil didn't seem all that sleepy, and Kyo sighed, hoping he hadn't come across as pushy. He just couldn't help feeling more of a burden right now than a help. With his own mind out of whack focusing on some heavy issues in his-and a friend's-life, he didn't think he could properly care for Danil's even if he really wanted to.

And then Danil mentioned the name again.

Shotsky.

Kyo lowered his head for a moment, glancing only half-consciously at the snack plate Danil had set down in front of him. It had been some time since he'd thought of the rotten Russian man. Time was sure to heal most all things, but no one had ever claimed it could heal ailments, whether physical or mental, in full. And Kyo wasn't going to be the first to say it could either. He might not have thought a lot about the man, but his memories about him were quite dark. He wasn't sure he had it in him to forgive someone like that for what he'd done.

Kyo had become so lost in thought that even his vision had blurred, the green of the celery blending with the brown of the peanut butter to make a nasty color that reminded him a lot of how he was currently feeling. Then the hunger pangs kicked in again too.

Kyo glanced up at his caretaker, at least grateful that no questions had been directed his way about himself. Danil hadn't noticed anything; that was good. He had enough on his mind anyway, it seemed. And something else had just dawned on Kyo.

"Danyaru-san...." Kyo readjusted his spot on the chair, shifting an already vexed-looking Vaska as the boy turned to better face his host father. "Shotsky is...." He paused. "That man is really evil. I remember you told me about him, and I remember him too of course. But when in this kind of situation, I try to remember the things my 'senpai' taught me in the past. I know if I was you right now, if I was the one to face Shotsky, I would remember that no matter what happens, I have my friends and my family. I have my life, and it is a happy life. There are troubles and many difficult times, but in the end, I am happy to be me and live as I am. I am really lucky."

Kyo sighed.

"In the end, Shotsky cannot defeat you. He is the man who has no friends, no happiness, no life. He already lost."

And Kyo was sure that Shotsky wasn't the only of such a person. He had the feeling the evil woman stalking his friend, Nic.......she was like that too.

[Angela]

Danil smiled lovingly at Kyo's words of true wisdom beyond his years. "Thank you, dear Kyosan." He gently touched his cheek with the back of his hand. He truly cared about his host father, that was evident in his words. Danil withdrew his hand and took a bite of his celery. "I do not know when I shall face him. I need to deal with the past, what he did to me, before dealing with him in person." He sighed. "It won't be easy. But I want to assure you that I'll still take care of you, and be there for you when you need me," he promised. "But I won't lie to you by saying that I'll be 'just fine.' It is going to be hard for me, and I apologize right now if I do end up neglecting you a little, or if I get too stressed and I lash out at you by mistake," he advised him piteously. "I do want you to be prepared for this, and I also want you to know that no matter what happens, I do love you very much, malenki lapushka, and I will do all I can to make sure I am there for you."

[Kyo Suzuki]

Kyo returned the smile, impressed-in a way-in his own ability to do so, whether forced or not, given all he was currently dealing with. But more importantly, he was grateful that Danil seemed even the slightest bit comforted. It was never easy to empathize with someone, at least in such a way that the unhappy person could feel that they had someone on their side who totally understood their feelings. Kyo had never felt that words, even some gestures, were good enough to convey these kinds of things from him to others.

Still, he nodded in reply to Danil's word of thanks, then watched the man eat one of the celery sticks. Reminded of his own hunger pangs, Kyo reached out to take one for himself too.

"I do not know when I shall face him. I need to deal with the past, what he did to me, before dealing with him in person." Danil was in a tough rut. "It won't be easy. But I want to assure you that I'll still take care of you, and be there for you when you need me."

A pause, then, "But I won't lie to you by saying that I'll be 'just fine.' It is going to be hard for me, and I apologize right now if I do end up neglecting you a little, or if I get too stressed and I lash out at you by mistake. I do want you to be prepared for this, and I also want you to know that no matter what happens, I do love you very much, malenki lapushka, and I will do all I can to make sure I am there for you."

Kyo felt suddenly queasy. It was okay if Danil was too busy for him because of this matter. In fact, though Kyo didn't want his caretaker having to deal with anything too troublesome, the further he was away from knowing Kyo's current business, the better for everyone involved. And yet on the other hand, Kyo suddenly felt alone too.

Danil wasn't the only one in a dark mindset. The problem with Nic and Linda had elevated to something truly deep and dark in Kyo's mind. In fact, he'd come to realize that this was the point in "childhood" where teenagers--cool, calm, and adult-like though they might think they were--really did need someone older around. Kyo was sure he wasn't stupid....but there were some things that he was also sure were impossible for someone his age to figure out. Of course he was trying, and he knew he needed to, but just thinking that maybe he and Danil were dividing here....thinking that Danil might lash out at him.... Even if unintentionally, with everything else on Kyo's plate right now, he didn't know if he could handle that. At least well.

Maybe he would have to find more ways to help out with Danil's problems, in addition to the others.

"I don't believe it's easy, Danyaru-san, but if I can help, you can let me know that..." He hesitated a moment. "And I think you should always remember...no matter what happened to you because of that bad man...You can't let him see it. Even if it is the thing that hurts you most, do not show that to that man. If he thinks that you have...." He paused again--the word, what was the word? "Ah...if he thinks that you have overcome what he did, then he can find no weakness."

Kyo hesitated again.

"Danyaru-san...I always admire you because I think you are a brave person. I am happy you are my host father. Maybe I could have been unlucky, maybe I could have gotten someone like that guy for my host father. But I did not. And the reason I am..." This wasn't true up until recently, but had always been before the dilemma with Linda... "...the reason I am doing okay is because I have a good person to admire. You taught me many good things. Just please always remember that. There is big difference with you and Shotsky. No matter what he did to you, he cannot do it again. So you cannot give him the chance to."

Kyo realized he was beginning to sound a bit like he thought he had become Danil's superior and grew quiet. A lot of things had changed in the course of the past week....

"Maybe it really is better for us to both relax now, Danyaru-san?"

[Angela]

Danil listened carefully to Kyo as he poured wisdom beyond his years. They were some of the nicest words his exchange son had ever said to him, and that was saying a lot since Kyo was compassionate, kind and curteous already. Here Danil was, trying to be there for Kyo because he felt sure that he needed him, because he did seem terribly stressed and distracted, and Kyo was offering Danil the moral strength that he intended to provide.

"You're right, Kyosan," Danil finally said, after a long moment of silence to consider Kyo's advice. "Shotsky does not have any family, or friends, and I do. I'll be sure to keep those words close to my heart." He gently took Kyo's free hand and squeezed it. "Thank you. I needed to hear that." He paused, realizing he hadn't gotten anything to drink for either of them. Well, he would wait a few more minutes. He still had some things he wanted to say. "As I said, I will try to be there for you. You are my responsibility, and I will not ignore that just because of my own stress. I'm not blind to your needs." He paused. "Let me ask you one thing, Kyo. I have noticed that you've been stressed and distracted lately. Will you tell me what's wrong, please?" He paused. "That was the reason I came to you, you know. I was worried. Peter's worried. We haven't really seen you out of your room lately, and we're concerned." He tried to be as gentle as Kyo was to him.

[Kyo Suzuki]

Even when Danil expressed gratitude for Kyo's words, the exchange student felt slightly uncomfortable. He really hadn't intended to come across as condescending or anything like that. The words he'd spoken....maybe they had come from some part of him that understood those underlying emotions Danil was currently feeling, the ones he was currently feeling. He wasn't sure those were words he would normally be able to manage, if everything was currently normal. Even so, if Danil appreciated them, then they were worth it.

But Danil's next question came out of the blue. It seemed he didn't want to sleep yet.

"Let me ask you one thing, Kyo. I have noticed that you've been stressed and distracted lately. Will you tell me what's wrong, please?"

Kyo shifted in his chair again, and this time Vaska actually turned to look him in the eye rather than dig his claws in to hold his position. It seemed Vaska really wasn't fooled by Kyo's facade of well-being. Kyo avoided meeting the cat's eyes as he turned his way, instead concentrating again on the plate of food that he hadn't quite touched.

"That was the reason I came to you, you know," Danil went on. "I was worried. Peter's worried. We haven't really seen you out of your room lately, and we're concerned."

Kyo shook his head, the words of his native tongue coming out first, he was suddenly so uncomfortable,"Eh....iie, iie. Nandemo nai desu, I mean..." Kyo coughed into the back of one hand and shook his head. "Sorry, I mean...everything's fine. Just...just doing the cram work for school, so my mind feels too busy."

He tried to laugh it off. If he wasn't feeling so down and awkward about everything lately, it really might have been ironic. The schoolwork wasn't the biggest reason for his concerns, of course, but it did feel similar to cram school work in Japan, one of the things he'd imagined he'd be able to escape from by coming to America.

"This happens a lot in Japan," Kyo explained, grateful for an excuse that actually suited the moment and one that he knew a lot about. "Students have to work too hard for class, so they become the kind of people who always stay inside. We have word for that kind of person. He is called, "hikkomori." I think it means like, shut-in person." Kyo sighed. "Maybe many of those kinds of people are not good people in real life, but there are also many kids who are just too afraid to go outside."

Kyo shrugged. "I'm not a hikkomori, but I promise I won't become one either, doing all my work." He bowed his head to show he meant that. And he did. He didn't intend to become a hikkomori whether it involved his troubles or his schoolwork, for real.

[Angela]

Danil smiled lovingly at Kyo as he spoke. He reminded him so much of himself lately. He'd been throwing himself into practice, working, working, working, so he didn't have to deal with his inner psychological issues.

"You know, if you want, we can talk to the school, get you some extra time, or extra help, perhaps some tutoring, whatever you need, Kyosan," he told him gently, reaching over to scratch Vaska's ears. The cat was nuzzling the crook of Kyo's arm, sniffing and giving little love bites.

He took a bite of his sandwich, noticing how Kyo hadn't really eaten.

"You know, also, Peter and I can help you with your studying. In fact, we should see about getting you into a study group! Perhaps that would help ease the burden on you. Studying with others is always better than studying by yourself." He grew thoughtful, then looked at Kyo more closely. Sometimes, if people weren't comfortable talking about their own troubles, they would say that their "friend" was having their trouble, and get advice that way. True, Kyo was forthcoing it seemed, but Danil couldn't help but wonder if he was being totally honest with him.

"Dorogoy, where's the ketchup?" Peter called.

"In the refrigerator where it's supposed to be," Danil called, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, but where at?"

Danil rolled his eyes. Peter wouldn't see his head if he couldn't see it attached to his neck.

"I'll be right back," he said to Kyo, setting his plate beside Kyo's.

Vaska, now sitting up, cautiously put his front paws on the desk, and upon not receiving a scolding remark or gesture, inclined his head toward the tuna sandwich on Danil's plate.

[Kyo Suzuki]

"You know, if you want, we can talk to the school, get you some extra time, or extra help, perhaps some tutoring, whatever you need, Kyosan." Danil reached over to pet the cat, smiling.

Kyo glanced down at Vaska, nibbling gently on his arm. He was so preoccupied, he almost didn't even feel the sensation that came with the cat's gestures.

"It is really okay," he replied, folding his hands now. The school would wonder just what the heck was going on if Danil made such a request; he did have a lot of work, that was true, but certainly not an amount he could try and call overwhelming, at least not if something else hadn't cropped up to make matters more difficult, something like the exact situation he'd encountered recently with Linda.

There was a crunch as Danil bit into one of the sandwiches he brought, and Kyo looked up as he began to speak.

"You know, also, Peter and I can help you with your studying. In fact, we should see about getting you into a study group! Perhaps that would help ease the burden on you. Studying with others is always better than studying by yourself."

Kyo nodded. "Nn..." (Yes, in Japanese.) "That is true, ne. I will try to see if there is such a study group at school. Thank you for the suggestion."

There came a sudden call from the kitchen, an almost desperate call for ketchup from Peter, which sparked an amusing conversation between he and his husband in Kyo's room. A trace of a smile actually crossed Kyo's face. Though of course he didn't want couples to fight, the conversation itself was just so priceless. Something so normal, yet something--at the same time--so special. While Kyo sat here sulking about things currently out of his control, Danil and Peter were moving on with their lives. Danil had been through so much in his own, and he'd moved on. Even Nic...Nic had been through more than most people, and he was still so young. He had moved on too.

Though....wasn't that why Kyo was fighting so hard to get to the bottom of his problem with Linda? Because she was trying hard, herself, to do it to Nic again?

"I'll be right back," Danil said quickly, setting the plate down before leaving from the room.

Kyo nodded, watching him leave for a moment before turning back to his desk. Vaska was shifting again, his paws suddenly up on the surface in front of him, balancing uneasily on his two legs.

Kyo watched almost absent-mindedly as the large cat hounded his evening snack. He was back to subconsciously ogling the greens, his mind in a whir. Truth be told, he'd done an okay job of hiding his problems so far....oh what the heck? Who was he kidding? It was far from okay. Everyone and their brother could probably tell something was wrong with him, and using the excuse of "too much homework," while maybe possible once upon a time, was just not going to cut it. Homework didn't usually emotionally drain someone. Homework didn't tend to send people off into the "nightmare-lands" of their brains, where all they could focus on was everything but what was immediately in front of them.

Kyo was falling apart little by little. He hadn't solved the problem with Nic and Linda yet, and he hadn't finished his homework either. Someone was going to notice. Someone, before long.

"Sorry, Vaska-chan." Feeling uneasy, Kyo climbed out of the desk chair, picking Vaska up under the belly so that he wouldn't fall. He lifted the plate on his desk, still nearly untouched, and moved back for the kitchen, where he could hear his two host parents talking.

In the instant, holding the plate, watching them--silently--from the hallway, Kyo had a sudden urge to spill everything. Everything he was bottling up inside and lying about. Danil and Peter were much stronger than him, they'd been alive longer--they probably knew just what to do in this situation. He...

"Danyaru-san...Petah-san..."

[Angela]

"I told you, you just had to look," Danil said with a sigh and a roll of his eyes.

"Yeah, right, like I would ever look there," Peter replied, with a similar reaction. "So did he talk to you?"

"Not really," Danil replied with a deeo sigh. "He said it was just his workload at school."

"But you're not buying it," Peter guessed, putting some ketchup on his hot dog.

"No. It doesn't make any sense. There's something else. There must be."

"Give him time. He has to come to us. Remember? You of all people should know what that's like," Peter pointed out.

"Oh, God, if it has to do with Shotsky..." Danil shuddered.

"I think if it were, you would have been able to tell," Peter said, putting his hand on his shoulder. "Don't jump to conclusions. It might be better than you think. Hey, it could even be schoolwork, like he says. Just let him be the one to judge when to tell us."

Danil nodded. "You're right."

Back in Kyo's room, Vaska complained as he was picked up away from Danil's delicious sandwich.

"Mrowr!" he mused, and bit hard into Kyo's arm. I want tuna! My tuna! Let me down! As Kyo walked, Vaska noticed himself going further and further away from the meal, and began to growl.

Danil turned as Kyo called out to Peter and himself. He blinked at Vaska, and struggled to keep a straight face.

"Kyosan? What is it?" he asked gently.

[Kyo Suzuki]

It was a bit like when Sleeping Beauty pricked her finger on the spinning needle.

Only it involved a boy. And an angry cat.

Kyo seemed to return to his senses as soon as Vaska bit him. Suddenly out of the trance he'd fallen into moments before and wondering how he'd allowed himself to come under one like that to begin with, he launched the cat out of his arms in unintentional surprise. In fact, he watched in horror as the feline seemed to sail through the air, before landing--as gracefully as could be expected of the world's proudest kitty cat--on all four of its legs a couple feet away.

Kyo sighed. That could have ended much worse...

"Kyosan? What is it?" Danil was speaking. He'd heard Kyo address him and Peter then.

Kyo shook his head. He was actually sweating bullets now. He couldn't believe he'd come so close to doing what he'd spent the last week and half trying so hard to avoid doing. He wondered if he'd really become as feeble-minded as he suddenly felt.

"Iie, iie! Nothing...I just wanted...wanted to return my plate," he floundered, holding the the dish out at arm's length to add to what he was sure did not seem as genuine a gesture as he hoped. "I am not feeling so well with the work, so...so I thought that it is a waste for me not to eat this. Maybe I can save it for later. Or Petah-san, you can have it for me?"

[Angela]

Danil frowned, taking the plate. "Kyo, you've hardly touched it," he said sadly.

"You should take a break. You can stay up an extra hour if you need to," Peter added.

"Well, maybe not an hour, but an extra half hour would be good, I think," Danil contradicted.

Peter nodded.

"You know, you can tell us things if you need to," Peter pointed out. He wasn't buying the "I just came to give you my plate" bit.

"We'll save your food for you if you insist," Danil told Kyo. "It will be here when you want it."

Vaska took it upon himself to mosey on over to Kyo's room, leapt on top of the desk, and began to munch on Danil's sandwich. As if he could read the tabby's mind, Danil blanched and set Kyo's plate on the table, and walked at a quick pace to Kyo's room.

"Vaska!" he exclaimed, snatching the cat up. "Bad cat!" he scolded in Russian. He tapped Vaska's nose. Danil shook his head as he set the cat down on the floor and took the plate.

He walked out of the room, Vaska following behind, mewing insistently.

"I might as well give it to you, since you already helped yourself to it." Danil rolled his eyes. He opened the sandwich and put it in the cat's dish. Danil ate all the celery sticks earlier.

"What are we going to do with him," Peter said with a snicker as Vaska came to his dish and began to eat the tuna. His tail was sticking straight up in the air, as if the scolding didn't even matter to him.

[Kyo Suzuki]

The look on Danil's face was actually fairly nerve-wracking for Kyo. He seemed extremely disappointed, though he did take the plate. "Kyo, you've hardly touched it."

"You should take a break," Peter interceded, sounding much like the "cool" dad everyone wanted in their lives. "You can stay up an extra hour if you need to."

An extra hour...Though, Kyo knew the extra hour wouldn't mean relaxation time followed by well-completed homework. It would mean one more hour that he spent devoted to his recent nasty thoughts. Maybe he could just excuse himself and say he was tired...

Danil seemed like a mind reader. "Well, maybe not an hour, but an extra half hour would be good, I think."

Kyo nodded the same time as Peter, though this was just in order to appease his host fathers in some way, considering he'd already immensely failed to do so with most everything else. They must have felt as disappointed in him recently as he felt about himself.

There was a momentary pause, a rather awkward one, and then Peter came out with it. Kyo almost saw it coming even before it did. The aura of discomfort in the air, that sense of the full truth not being disclosed, was heavy around them.

"You know, you can tell us things if you need to."

Kyo choked back a gasp, but was saved by Danil moments later as he mentioned saving Kyo's plate for later. Even Vaska eased the mood a bit. Kyo barely saw him walk back into his bed room, until Danil called out the cat's name in surprise, rushing after the pet to fetch him away from the leftover snacks.

Kyo thought for a moment as Danil and Peter fussed over the fat cat, furrowing his brow slightly as he forced his mind to concentrate. Was there some way he could reveal the situation to his host fathers without actually revealing it? He was sure they knew that trick by now, though. With the way he was acting, if he played it off as a problem for someone he was close to, Danil and Peter were likely to know it pertained to him directly, in some way, rather than the supposed "close someone."

Kyo took a deep breath. He hated lying to them. He just hated it. He wasn't a liar.

But maybe now it was necessary.

"Danyaru-san, Petah-san....I have really felt troubled recently because of the school work. But there is something else..." He hesitated. "I....I talk to my good friend back home and...maa...he has had some serious problem recently. We have another friend..."

Kyo's stomach was tying itself into knots, now.

"...we never liked his girlfriend because she has betrayed him many times. You know, like...being with another man or getting him in trouble. She spends time with some gangs."

Oh God, the lies. That had been for the sake of authenticity...gangs.

"But recently, my friend in Japan heard her private conversation. She is trying to cause trouble again. But this time I think it could involve police, and maybe my friend could get hurt. My other friend...he told me we cannot say anything about it to anyone because...because if word got out, many people could be hurt. He just....he told me because we have been friends for so long and know our other friend well." Kyo paused. "I want to ask for advice, but I am afraid to. I know you are very good men, you will want to help. But I think it is one of those situations that we cannot just have the bold fight and end the problem. If that girl hears that the word is out, there could be many people hurt. But I also worry...if we do not tell our friend what is going on, he will be hurt too."

Tears sprang into Kyo's eyes. "What can we do? What can we do when every option is bad? What would you do, Danyaru-san, Petah-san?"

Kyo took a deep breath. Ironically, he felt none of the relief he thought conveying even that much would bring him. But of course...he understood immediately. In addition to not having fully revealed the truth, he now had a massive lie to cover up for, and he wasn't entirely sure he was going to get advice that would help solve Nic's problem, not the one for friends he'd invented.

[Angela]

Danil and Peter listened carefully to Kyo's story. As soon as he said that he was worried about a friend, both Danil and Peter knew it had to be Kyo himself, but neither said anything. He was coming around, that was worth the lie.

As Kyo explained about gangs and police, Danil stepped over to Kyo and guided him to a seat at the table, putting his hand on his shoulder. Now he understood why Kyo was so hesitant to talk about such things. He gave him a half hug and sat down next to him. Peter sat down across from the two of them.

"First, Kyosan, thank you for deciding to tell us," Danil said, taking his hand. "We will keep this confidential - that means, this secret will never be revealed by us. I understand that you are afraid, but we will try to help you help your friend and his friend as best we can." He looked at Peter, who was taking a deep breath.

"Kyosan, if you are worried about people getting hurt, I hate to say it, but maybe you should take Stalin's approach."

"What the hell are you talkin about?" Danil asked, annoyed. He rolled his eyes. "What does he have to do with anything?"

"'One death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic,'" Peter quoted. "Tell your friend that he should decide what is easier to live with, the statistic or the tragedy. If it were me, I would tell this friend's girlfriend to get lost. I'd walk right up to her and say 'I know what you're doing and you're not gonna get away with it.' But mind you, I'd only say that after I went to the cops. You do it the other way around, it's likely the secret will die with you. So, if it were me, I'd go straight to the girl. You know what the French say, 'Cherchez la femme.'"

"As cynical as Peter's words are," Danil chimed in, "they have some value." He too took a deep breath. "This is a dangerous affair for your friend. I would not agree with going straight to the police or the girl. Instead... I would convey my concerns directly to the friend. Your friend should tell this friend that he is concerned about his girlfriend. He thinks she is a bad influence, to say the least. He should say that he worries she is dangerous, and doesn't want him to be hurt. He should tell him that he is worried about the company his girlfriend keeps. He should take care, absolutely, with his friend's feelings and heart, but be quick to point out that he wouldn't be saying these things if he didn't care about him, his feelings and safety." He sighed. "Though it may be difficult to convince him that the girl is bad or using him..."

"Maybe your friend could do some detective work, find hard evidence, and come to the friend after he's gotten enough, and tell him everything," Peter suggested.

"Not if it's going to put the friend in danger!" Danil exclaimed, giving a vicious kick under the table to his husband's legs.

"Ow!" Peter cried out.

"You need to think of the friend's safety as well as the other friend," Danil told Peter, giving him a Look.

"Well, yeah, that's true. Maybe he should get others involved, people older and smarter than he is," Peter said with a tiny, but wry smile towards Danil, who sighed and rolled his eyes once more.

Danil bit his lip, but nodded to Kyo.

"If your friend feels that he cannot handle this alone, he was right to confide in you, and in turn you were right to talk to us. Above all, we should consider this friend's safety, which is why I wouldn't suggest detective work on his own..." His eyes widened and he snapped his fingers. "A private investigator! Someone trained to deal with such matters! That is the ace in the hole, a sure thing!"

"Yeah!" Peter agreed eagerly. "That's exactly right! A private investigator!"

"So, you have a few options to tell your friend," Danil said, folding his hands in front of him, as if he were laying cards on the table. "You could tell your friend to foolishly confront the girlfriend, though I personally wouldn't recommend that. He could go to the police, but I wouldn't recommend that either if he worries that might be too dangerous. He could investigate on his own, or with some older friends, but again, if the danger is too high, I wouldn't advise it. I would say the best option is for a private investigator. The detective is trained to deal with such things and would know how to handle themselves under dangerous circumstances. So my advice is to go with that," Danil concluded.

[Kyo Suzuki]

Kyo watched only subconsciously as Danil came over to him, aware that the gesture meant he would be taken somewhere presumably comfortable to receive a long talking-to. Whether that would be a good or bad thing, he couldn't be sure. He wasn't feeling any better about things anyway.

As he was guided over to the kitchen table and urged to sit, Kyo took a deep breath. His heart hurt. Danil leaned over to give him a half hug before taking a seat of his own. Peter followed suit. Unable to meet either of the men's eyes, Kyo eyed the kitchen floor with new interest.

"First, Kyosan, thank you for deciding to tell us." Danil took up his hand in his, as if to get his attention. "We will keep this confidential - that means, this secret will never be revealed by us. I understand that you are afraid, but we will try to help you help your friend and his friend as best we can."

Kyo opened his mouth to speak, though he was not sure what he would say. Having said anything at all was suddenly feeling even more like it had been his worst idea so far. In fact, Kyo was beginning to feel like he'd been selfish to do it, blurting out everything, even in lie form. He appreciated that his host fathers wanted to help, but he could see they looked heavily concerned too.

"Kyosan, if you are worried about people getting hurt, I hate to say it, but maybe you should take Stalin's approach."

Danil rolled his eyes. "What the hell are you talkin about? What does he have to do with anything?"

"One death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic,' Peter continued, as if oblivious to Danil's annoyance. "Tell your friend that he should decide what is easier to live with, the statistic or the tragedy. If it were me, I would tell this friend's girlfriend to get lost. I'd walk right up to her and say 'I know what you're doing and you're not gonna get away with it.' But mind you, I'd only say that after I went to the cops. You do it the other way around, it's likely the secret will die with you. So, if it were me, I'd go straight to the girl. You know what the French say, 'Cherchez la femme.'"

Kyo blinked, but remained silent. Now that he thought about it, the first thing he should have done was record the exchange between Linda and her boyfriend. The words, their actions, everything. He would have had everything on hand, if he needed it, even if he couldn't go to the police right away. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it then. And actually, were he as big as Linda's boyfriend and perhaps a tad bit more confident, he liked to think he would have called the cops and done just as Peter said. If he'd had the ability, he would have brought matters up with Linda the instant he heard her go on and on to her boyfriend about how easy it was to play Nic. But that hadn't happened. It hadn't really been possible; Kyo had been too cowardly. And more than that, there was still the outside possibility, one possibility that Kyo hadn't included in the new web of lies he'd spun to his host fathers...Linda didn't seem to actually want to hurt Nic. That was...the hesitation Kyo had heard in her voice. She was trying to appeal to a far-gone, nasty boyfriend. She was seemingly trying to protect Nic in her own way, albeit a bad one.

Oh God, his head was spinning again...

"As cynical as Peter's words are," Danil said suddenly, "they have some value. This is a dangerous affair for your friend. I would not agree with going straight to the police or the girl. Instead... I would convey my concerns directly to the friend. Your friend should tell this friend that he is concerned about his girlfriend. He thinks she is a bad influence, to say the least. He should say that he worries she is dangerous, and doesn't want him to be hurt. He should tell him that he is worried about the company his girlfriend keeps. He should take care, absolutely, with his friend's feelings and heart, but be quick to point out that he wouldn't be saying these things if he didn't care about him, his feelings and safety." Danil sighed. "Though it may be difficult to convince him that the girl is bad or using him..."

Kyo nodded slowly. That, or it would just hurt his "friend" too badly to find out the terrible truth. Especially after being hurt by the same girl in the past.

"Maybe your friend could do some detective work, find hard evidence, and come to the friend after he's gotten enough, and tell him everything," Peter suggested.

Danil seemed to muse about that quickly. "Not if it's going to put the friend in danger!" He kicked his husband, who responded with an almost angry Vaska-like yelp.

They brought up a few more options, musing all those possibilities as well, and finally Danil summed everything up together.

"So, you have a few options to tell your friend. You could tell your friend to foolishly confront the girlfriend, though I personally wouldn't recommend that. He could go to the police, but I wouldn't recommend that either if he worries that might be too dangerous. He could investigate on his own, or with some older friends, but again, if the danger is too high, I wouldn't advise it. I would say the best option is for a private investigator. The detective is trained to deal with such things and would know how to handle themselves under dangerous circumstances. So my advice is to go with that."

Kyo tried to calm the shaky feeling in his hands, the mental block he was feeling in his head. That, and the sudden migraine behind his eyes weren't likely to go away until he avoided that extra 30 minutes promised to stay awake and just went to sleep. If he could.

Instead, he forced a smile for his host fathers. He couldn't afford a detective, he couldn't "foolishly" confront Linda (at least not yet), but he could continue to investigate on his own. Even if it was dangerous. It really was the only option left. And he had the feeling that if Linda did feel some sort of regret for what she'd done or at least felt bad enough about things that she'd tried to cover up for it at all...there just had to be some way out of this.

Kyo nodded. He was going to continue on the same path he was on, but he was grateful that Danil and Peter had expressed concern and at the very least tried to provide him with some solid advice. He just hoped he hadn't troubled them too much in return.

"I knew I could trust your advice," Kyo said, smiling weakly. He tried blinking the over-tiredness from his eyes. With the bad headache and a terribly restless mind, even though his body felt exhausted and weak, he still wasn't positive he could sleep. Well, at least.

"I think maybe tonight is not good to call my friend. But I can send him a message or call tomorrow. He is smart, so I think he will make the good choice." Kyo hesitated, then shifted forward on his chair, intending to get up. "Thank you again for helping me. I am really grateful. Then, I think....I think that maybe it is best if I go to bed early."

[Angela]

Danil nodded, squeezing Kyo's hand reassuringly. "Good. You know, you do look a little flushed," he said after a pause. He put his hand to Kyo's forehead and nodded. "Why don't you go to sleep. We'll let you stay home tomorrow." He looked at Peter for confirmation.

The truth was, Kyo didn't look sick. He looked stressed, but still, a day off from school would do him good. Peter nodded in agreement.

"Yeah. You spend tomorrow in bed. You need it. Take a day off before you get really sick," he advised gently. "And if you're worried about your work tomorrow, don't. We'll have someone bring what work needs done tomorrow, and we'll help you complete everything you need to do so that it won't be overwhelming."

"You're probably giving yourself aches from worrying about all this. I'm going to get you some Tylenol," Danil said gently. Without waiting for contradiction from Kyo, Danil got up from the chair and left for a moment to go to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. He returnedd with two Tylenol PMs. "Here, these will help you sleep too," he said, and poured Kyo a glass of water. He kissed his head and squeezed his shoulder. "I always ache when I worry, and I think everyone does. So you don't even have to tell me. I already knew, just by looking at you just now."

"Yeah, I could tell too. You had this weird look on your face. You probably don't even notice it, but Danil gets it whenever he worries and then he takes a headache pill, so I know it's gotta be hurting for you too. It's really nice that you're so worried about your friends, Kyosan, ad that you trust us with these issues," Peter said. "Just relax tomorrow. Send a message or call your friend, tomorrow, and relax. You can even lay off your schoolwork until tomorrow evening. You know, we both noticed how stressed you have been over the past few weeks. You really should take a day off where you just lay in bed and sleep, before your mental stress starts to take a toll on you physically." Peter stood up and repeated the gestures that Danil gave to Kyo, squeezing his shoulder and kissing his head.

"You know, personally, some time in the hot tub may help you feel better, and relieve the stress," Danil continued with a thoughtful nod. "Just a reminder, you can use it any time you want."

Peter nodded, and put his arm around his husband, pulling him close. "And hey, you meditate, don't you? That can help with the stress too."

"For now, though, I think you're right to go and get some sleep," Danil said. "Before you do, is there anything we can do, or anything else you need help with?" he asked.

[Kyo Suzuki]

"Good. You know, you do look a little flushed," Danil said, putting a hand on Kyo's forehead to test his temperature. "Why don't you go to sleep. We'll let you stay home tomorrow."

Kyo could only imagine how he looked, considering how he felt. That had been part of his qualms about leaving his room too. He was sure he'd looked exactly how he felt, even despite forced smiles, because he'd seen for himself. If it was even possible for someone already as thin as him, he thought he might have gotten skinnier too...

Kyo froze for a moment. It wasn't that school was on his list of fun things to do, but it was a distraction from his problems, at the very least. It was hard to keep up in class recently because of the problem, but it was just as hard to remain focused on those recent dark thoughts of his when someone as loud as Alexander Rhoades was in his classroom, belting out jokes and obscenities left and right.

Kyo opened his mouth to protest, but Peter had started speaking now.

"Yeah. You spend tomorrow in bed. You need it. Take a day off before you get really sick," the man said softly. "And if you're worried about your work tomorrow, don't. We'll have someone bring what work needs done tomorrow, and we'll help you complete everything you need to do so that it won't be overwhelming."

Kyo shook his head. "Ah, no, it is..."

"You're probably giving yourself aches from worrying about all this. I'm going to get you some Tylenol." Danil was suddenly looking as tired and worried as Kyo felt. He seemed almost entirely aware that his host-son was on the verge of protesting all the sudden doting from his host fathers (unwanted doting, though he was really grateful for their thoughts) and left the room for somewhere down the hall, perhaps the bathroom, by the sound of things. There was an almost inaudible click that Kyo recognized as coming from the cabinet behind the mirror in the bathroom. Danil must have been getting the medicine...

Kyo glanced down at his hands. Normally, despite being a bit overactive sometimes, he was fairly calm. Of course that wasn't now, and he was quite ill at ease. Enough so that the pair of hands he was staring down at didn't seem to be his own. His hands didn't shake....he had never been so stressed before in his life, and that was saying something, considering he came from a country where school could last until 8 PM and cram school, college, and work meant everything.

When Danil returned to the room, he had two Tylenol tablets in hand. He poured Kyo a glass of water, too. "Here, these will help you sleep too. I always ache when I worry, and I think everyone does. So you don't even have to tell me. I already knew, just by looking at you just now."

Kyo glanced at the pills, trying to calm his hands slightly as he accepted the medicine. "It is okay...just a...headache. I looked at schoolbooks too long..." That wasn't really a lie. It was just that his other current issues had helped egg on the headache while he'd been, well, trying to study and do his homework.

Kyo put both pills in his mouth and tipped the water glass to get them down just as Peter spoke.

"Yeah, I could tell too. You had this weird look on your face. You probably don't even notice it, but Danil gets it whenever he worries and then he takes a headache pill, so I know it's gotta be hurting for you too. It's really nice that you're so worried about your friends, Kyosan, ad that you trust us with these issues."

If only it was really fake friends, Kyo thought glumly to himself, though he instantly felt guilty about that thought. He didn't want to wish this on anyone...

Peter continued. "Just relax tomorrow. Send a message or call your friend, tomorrow, and relax. You can even lay off your schoolwork until tomorrow evening. You know, we both noticed how stressed you have been over the past few weeks. You really should take a day off where you just lay in bed and sleep, before your mental stress starts to take a toll on you physically." He gave him a firm squeeze on his shoulder, then kissed him, as if goodnight. Kyo appreciated the gesture, of course, though he was beginning to feel that out-of-body experience he'd heard mention of in the past. He was suddenly beginning to feel very disconnected from the world around him.

"You know, personally, some time in the hot tub may help you feel better, and relieve the stress," Danil advised, nodding as if deep in thought considering all of Kyo's options. "Just a reminder, you can use it any time you want."

As Peter went on to suggest meditation, Kyo began to have fleeting thoughts about what it might be like to take Danil up on his offer there. The hot tub. Warm, relaxing...Maybe he would fall asleep in it, he might forget everything, things might go so quickly and peacefully that he wouldn't even notice if....

The Japanese boy scrunched up his face at his thoughts. What was happening? He was going to drive himself insane! Suicide thoughts now? A whole lot of good that would do everyone else too, committing senseless suicide. No one would protect Nic from Linda, people would...well, he hoped people would miss him...

Kyo suddenly felt that constricting sensation in his torso, the kind that precedes an unstoppable, unpredictable, and seemingly unreasonable onrush of tears. He had never been in this kind of situation before, he'd never had to handle so much mental stress in his life. He wondered if he was going crazy, because everything felt as though it was spinning around him, as though he couldn't focus on any one thing any longer. The suicide thoughts scared him....Even if he wasn't capable of doing that to himself, even if he was sure of that, he'd still thought of it unconsciously, hadn't he? And then again, was he sure of anything anymore? Maybe the only thing he was sure of now was that he was weak. Very weak.

Kyo raised a hand to his face, placing it over the aching place between his eyes as if to massage the pain out of there, though actually he was getting ready to bolt and hide the flood of tears he felt rising within him.

"I am...am gonna go back to my room. Danyaru-san, Petah-san, arigatou gozaimasu. I mean, thank you." He got up from the chair, hurrying to the doorway. "Goodnight. I will go to bed now."

Kyo hurried back to his room. He didn't turn around until he was in the room itself, behind a safely closed door. Then he locked it.

And then he just let the flood of tears come.

"Doushio....Doushio........" (What do I do, what do I do?)

It was the first time perhaps during his entire stay with Danil, Peter, and Nic that Kyo actually suddenly and truly felt homesick. Homesick and alone.

The funny thing was, everything that had made him feel that way had been his choice. Had to be his choice.

Kyo took a deep breath between the tears, trying to keep from sobbing out loud. He would get through this. Somehow, for sure, he would.

He had to.

[Angela]

Danil and Peter looked at Kyo carefully as they spoke, watching him carefully after he took the pills. Danil grew extremely concerned the more he observed his exchange son's expression and mannerisms. Peter glanced to his husband, an equally worried expression on his face. No doubt he was thinking of that dreadful February day when Danil had a similar expression, shortly before he left the house.

When he left, Danil looked at Peter.

"You okay?" Peter asked.

"I'm fine," Danil said with a shrug, though his tone sounded just a little insulted. "How can I not be fine? Why would you ask if I'm okay? Shouldn't you be asking him if he's okay?"

Peter put his hands firmly on Danil's shoulders and looked him square in the eye. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I was just wondering, that's all!"

Danil sighed, lowering his eyes. "I don't like the way Kyo just ra out of here..."

Peter put his arm around Danil. "Shhh," he whispered. "I saw tears in his eyes. If there's one thing we know about Kyo, it's that he is a very proud, and caring young man. He doesn't want us to see him as weak, and he doesn't want to worry us. I think the only reason he flew out of here is because he wants to be alone and cry in private. Whoever this friend is, he's obviously worried sick about him. Let's leave him be," he whispered, kissing Danil's temple. Danil let out a deep sighj.

"You're right, I'm sure... I just hope he'll be all right..."

"He'll be fine. Let him sleep. Check on him in a little while."

Danil nodded. "Yeah... You know..." he said coyly, "I think the hot tubsounds nice right about now..."

Peter grinned. "You don't have to tell me twice!"

Without a word, the two went upstairs to the hot tub room, pulled the curtains of the all-glass windows to let the sunset in, turned on the hot tub and the bubbles, undressed and Danil got in.

"You want some champagne or something?" Peter asked.

Danil crinkled his nose. "No thanks." Peter placed one foot in the hot tub. "But I will take a Diet Cherry 7Up," he added. Peter chuckled and shook his head.

"Never fails. Okay, love." He leaned down and kissed his head, then left to go downstairs. He didn't even bother to put on a towel.

It's funny how animals have a sixth sense about things. Zoloto had been laying on the couch, chewing on her bone, while everything was going on. When she saw Kyo run to his room, she got up and leapt off the couch. She went straight to the bedroom door and tried to nudge it open... When she couldn't, she scratched at the door, whimpering.

[Kyo Suzuki]

Kyo heard movement from the kitchen and feared, for a moment, that his host fathers had figured out what had happened, were going to come to his room, knock on his door, finally get the truth out of him....

But it didn't happen.

There was the sound of two pairs of feet moving through the house, but up and away. Away from Kyo's room, away from Kyo, away from, it felt, his problems. It was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing that it meant he wouldn't have to worry about the truth slipping out if they came to his room, wouldn't have to worry about troubling them further or the additional stress. But a curse too, knowing that it could also mean they really didn't know what was going on or how he felt. Kyo sunk down to the floor against the door, the tears still spilling from his eyes.

He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there before he heard the gentle pattering of padded feet coming closer and closer to his door, and the telltale scratching and whining that followed told Kyo everything he needed to know.

"I can't lie to you, Zoloto." He said softly, gazing down at those unfamiliar hands of his. He hesitated a moment, wondering if even bothering the dog was worth it, and then feeling guilty, got back to his feet and opened the door. Zoloto bounded in, looking at him sideways, tenderly and concerned, as she did, almost as though she was a mother worrying over a puppy. Kyo was in the process of shutting the door behind the house pet when he heard the voices. Danil's and Peter's. They were coming from upstairs, accompanied by a kind of humming sound Kyo recognized to be the hot tub.

He felt his heart sink a little.

They were....they were celebrating in the hot tub? At least, from his room it sounded like a celebration of sorts. Kyo suddenly felt very left out, and perhaps he would have felt a little more hurt too. But he didn't think there was any more room in his heart, body, or mind to add any additional hurt. Instead, he closed the door to his room behind him, locked it, and suddenly feeling overwhelmingly exhausted, he dabbed at tears that seemed to have a willful mind of their own and headed for his oversized bed.

"Come, Zoloto..." Kyo hopped into his bed, patting the sheets next to him for the big, sweet dog to join him. "If you do not mind sleeping with a very sad kid tonight. I don't think it will be so much fun...."

He didn't remember falling asleep.

[Angela]

Zoloto jumped onto the bed and made herself comfortable, lying right next to Kyo. She lovingly licked Kyo's cheeks, kissing his tears away. She put her front paws on Kyo's shoulder as she licked all over his face for a while. When the boy fell asleep, Zoloto settled down to sleep next to him, nuzzling under his chin.

Upstairs, Danil was sighing, massaging his temples. The jets helped soothe the stress on his bodey, transferred to it by his mind.

"You just gotta give him time," Peter said. "Like I said, he probably just needs to be alone for a while. Tomorrow, we can talk to him more seriously, maybe find out who this friend is that's in trouble."

"You don't honestly believe it's a real friend, do you?" Danil asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Kyo doesn't have a girlfriend, so it must be a real friend," Peter reasoned.

"Oh, that friend. Yes, I suppose so."

They had been conversing like this the entire time they were in the hot tub. Debussy was on the stereo, playing his soothing Sonata for Flute, Viola and Harp. The sun was already set, and the night sky surrounded the all-glass windows of the corner upstairs room. Peter went downstairs again and got out his telescope, opened one of the windows, and shut off the lights inside the room. The fragrance of the lavender and jasmine flower bed hung in the air, mixed with the lighted scented candles that were throughout the room.

"Hey, check out Saturn!" Peter said suddenly, offering Danil the telescope. Danil waved a hand at first, then decided to look.

"Wow," he whispered. "I wish Kyo could see it... We should stargaze with him! You know, of all the things we've done, we've never done that!"

"Hey, yeah! Maybe Saturday night! Mercury and Neptune will be in conjunction, he's got to see it! Imagine, the closest and farthest planets to the Sun are aligned!"

Danil nodded, sighing as he took a drink of his soda.

"You're still worried."

"What was your first clue, Sherlock?" Danil asked sarcastically. "You should be too!"

"I am worried! But I'm trying to shake the stress away, just like you are! I think we helped him out, at least as much as we could help him, so what's the point in stressing more over it? At least we know what's going on!"

"If we knew who the friend was, that might help," Danil said with another sigh. He stepped out of the hot tub. He'd been in there for about forty-five minutes.

"Hey," Peter pouted.

"I'm going to see Kyo. I just want to make sure he's okay."

Danil dried off, and put on his blue silk bathrobe. He went downstairs and headed straight for Kyo's room. He gently knocked.

"Kyo?" he called, and after there was no answer, he tried to open the door. When he couldn't, Danil's heart began to pound and race in his chest. "Kyo? Open the door, please..." He paused. Of course Kyo couldn't answer him. No doubt the Tylenol PM had taken affect by now. At least, he hoped that was what happened. Still, he wished he could make sure that his exchange son was all right.

He placed his hand on the door and sighed. What could he do? How could he check on him with the door locked?

Zoloto stirred, and licked Kyo's face. When he did not wake, Zoloto nuzzled him a little, but after sniffing him, didn't seem to mind. She went to the door and scratched a little, yipping once.

Danil blinked. "Zoloto?" Another yip. Danil paused. Well, if the dog was with Kyo, that must mean that the boy was all right... but why did he lock the door?

Danil smiled a little. Obviously, the boy didn't want to be bothered by confrontation. Danil went back upstairs.

"How's he doing?" Peter asked, looking through the telescope again.

"I don't know," Danil answered with a shrug. "He locked the door. But I think he's all right. Zoloto is with him."

"Hmmm... Did you try the skeleton key?" Peter asked.

"Skelet-" Danil slapped a hand against his forehead. "I forgot I even had it! I never had to use it! But... but would it be right to bust in on him?"

"He's probably just sleeping, and if he's not, you can just tell him you were worried," Peter reasoned with a shrug, turning to look at him. "If he is sleeping, just lock the door on your way out. He'll never know."

Danil nodded, and went to the office a few rooms down from the hot tub. In a desk drawer, he took out a simple gold key, and with it, went downstairs. Danil opened Kyo's door without any trouble.

Danil smiled lovingly at the sight of Kyo, sleeping soundly on his bed. He was still in his street clothes, and didn't even have any blankets to cover himself. Danil stroked his hair gently, and managed to maneuver the blankets under him so that he could cover and tuck him in. So doing, he kissed his temple and stroked his cheek with the back of his hand.

"Spokonoi nochii, Kyosan," he whispered. He looked at Zoloto, who promptly jumped back on the bed. She dug under the covers and lay down in the same position she was before. Vaska had followed Danil on his way to the bedroom, and took the liberty of curling up with the two as well. He took a spot above Kyo's head, kneading his paws into the pillow for several seconds, finally laying down and curling into a ball, purring. Danil chuckled.

"Spokonoi nochii," he repeated with a small chuckle. "Take care of him, keep him company," he told his pets as he pet them. He took up the key, which he'd sat on the desk, and locked the door before he left.

He returned to the hot tub upstairs. Peter had sat the telescope aside and was now lounging under the water itself. Danil hurried to him, unable to help himself.

"Pete?" When there was no response, he called again, more panicked than before. "Pete? Are you all right?!" Peter opened his eyes, smiled, and rose up from the water. He planted a kiss on Danil's lips. "You scared me to death, you ublyudok!" he exclaimed, pushing him away.

"Sorry!" Peter said with a chuckle. "Seriously, though, I am. I didn't mean to upset you. I just needed to submerge for a bit, that's all."

Danil sighed, relieved, and took off his bathrobe. He got back in the hot tub and enjoyed the water pounding against his strained muscles in his back and legs.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to that conclusion. I'm at wit's end, though. I can't take much more stress."

"You're right. I'm sorry. You have enough to worry about without being concerned about me," Peter replied with a sigh of his own. He turned his head away from Danil so he couldn't see him roll his eyes. You're so worried about everyone else, but are you worried about your own husband? I don't think so! he couldn't help thinking. Danil may have read his mind, or maybe it was just chance, but Danil reached over and squeezed Peter's hand. He turned to him.

"Perhaps Friday we can go out together," Danil suggested softly. "Just the two of us."

Peter smiled. "Sounds like a plan." He leaned over and kissed his temple. Danil leaned against him and Peter put his arm around his waist.

"Poor Kyo... Why did he wait until now to tell us?" Danil asked. After a pause, he got up from Peter's shoulder and looked at him. "Are we bad at this?"

"What?" Peter asked, clueless.

"This, parenting," Danil answered. "Are we bad parents?"

"Why the hell would you think that?" Peter asked, annoyed. "We're great parents. We've both dealt with kids in one way or another before we considered adoption. I had my younger siblings, you have your nephew and neice, and now we're both watching over Kyo. I think we're doing just fine."

"But Kyo wouldn't come to us, not until I practically begged him to. Why?"

"It's nothin to do with us," Peter said, in a calmer, more reasonable tone. "It has to do with his own upbringing. Kyo was probably raised not to burden others with his problems, and that's why he didn't want to come to us. Or, maybe it's simpler than that. Maybe he thought that telling us would put us in danger. Either way, it has nothing to do with our parenting styles and skills."

Danil pondered this for a few moments, and finally nodded. "I suppose you have some good theories... I just hope that when we do decide to adopt we won't go through anything like this. I want our child or children to tell us whenever the slightest issue arises..."

Peter gently touched Danil's cheek with the back of his right hand's fingers. "Dorogoy," he whispered, not meaning to offend or upset his husband, "you never told your parents the most important issues in your own life..."

"Which is precisely why I want our child to do that, because I didn't, and now I'm paying for it, and so are you, and everyone else I love," Danil said bluntly, and without another word, he stepped out of the hot tub, dried off, put on his robe and went downstairs. Peter called after him, asking for him to return, to listen to him, but it was no use.

Danil went to Kyo's room once more, looking at him for a few moments as he slept soundly, then went to the master bedroom next door. He took a shower and lay down to rest. He pulled out a book to read; it was still quite early. He read two pages when Peter came in.

"I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to hear about it," Danil said, not looking at him. Peter sighed.

"Okay, okay. I'm just gonna get a shower, okay? I'll sleep somewhere else." Peter paused as he stepped towards the bathroom. "I'm sorry," he said at last, looking back at him. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I think it would be great if our kid came to us when he or she needed us. But kids eventually want to be independent and try to solve their own problems, whether to assert their independence or out of fear that they'll get in trouble. That's all I wanted to say. I'm really sorry."

Danil rolled his eyes behind the book, and turned a page. "I said I didn't want to hear about it."

Though he had to admit, as Peter went to shower, his words had truth to them. Danil sighed, shaking his head.

When Peter got out, he dressed in a pair of boxers and went to the guest room across the hall from Kyo's. Danil continued to read his book, reading three chapters before deciding it was time to go to bed. He got up at the usual 5 in the morning, exercised, showered, dressed, brushed his hair and teeth, and then went to make breakfast. As he made his way to the kitchen, the sweet and savory scent of strawberries filled the air. This meant that Peter had already made breakfast. Danil smiled in spite of himself.

"Mmm... Good morning," he said, inhaling the scent of the cooking deeply. "What are you making?"

"Morning," Peter replied, not facing him. He concentrated on the stove. "Crepes," he answered. "I got the strawberry kiwi ones, the strawberry banana ones, the banana rum ones, and the apple and cheese ones. I figured a nice variety would be good."

"It's been ages since we had any of those," Danil said with a small smile, walking over to him. He massaged his shoulders. "I'm glad you made breakfast. Thank you."

"I figured it would make you and Kyo feel better," Peter replied quietly.

After a few moments, watching as Peter flipped the crepes ever so gently, Danil spoke.

"Pete, I'm sorry, about last night. I want you to know I heard what you said before your shower. I thought about it, and I realized you were right. No matter what the issue, kids often do tend to keep their problems secret from their guardians. I didn't tell Parker I was having trouble with school and my eyes, I didn't tell him about Papa's abuse in the past, I didn't tell Papa or Mama about Shotsky... and I should have. I would have been so much better off if they knew." He sighed. "Look, Pete, with my psychological state being what it is right now, maybe we should consider waiting to adopt children."

"We'll discuss that, yeah," Peter said, turning to him as he set the crepe aside on a plate. "I am really sorry though. I didn't mean to be so blunt. You had your reasons for not telling anyone what was going on with you, just like you had your reasons when you left last month. What matters, what really makes you a better, more mature and grown-up person, is that you have the sense now to say to yourself and others around you that you need help. And that is something we should reward Kyo for. He realized at last, just like you did, that he can't deal with this problem alone, and he needs help. With this realization, he came to us. Better late than never, as they say. I would rather Kyo, or our children, come to us later, than to not come to us at all," he told him.

Danil nodded. "You're absolutely right."

He went to the blender, picking up some random fruit along the way. He went to the fridge, after putting some of the fruit in the blender, and picked out some vanilla yogurt and milk. He made a smoothie, pouredit in a glass, and offered it to Peter. Peter smiled and took a sip, then set it aside to continue working on the crepes.

"Delicious, thanks," he said. Danil grinned and kissed him passionately. The kiss lasted about thirty seconds before Peter broke away. "Mmm! Don't wanna burn the crepes!" He grinned and turned back to the paper-thin French pancake-like pastries.

"I would have just given you a peck, but you tasted so delicious," Danil said with a coy wink. He went and made another smoothie for himself.

Peter chuckled. "I think we'll take these to Kyo in bed," he suggested.

"Great idea!" Danil agreed with a cheerful smile.

A few more crepes were made, then Peter set about arranging and wrapping the fruit inside, rolling them expertly. He added various sauces on them, and arranged one of each on a plate. Danil went and got a tray, and set the plate on top of it. He then made another fruit smoothie, and took the tray to Kyo's room, Peter at his side.

"Oh, I forgot," Peter said after trying the door. "You said he locked it."

Danil nodded, but directed him to their room where the skeleton key sat on the nightstand beside his side of the bed. Upon retrieving it, he unlocked the door and Danil strode in. Zoloto, eager to go outside, had been scratching and whimpering at the door since Danil had stirred. She almost jumped up, but seeing that Danil carried something, and moreover that it was something edible, she remained calm and followed her master as he brought the tray to Kyo.

"I'll take her out," Peter said with a chuckle.

"Thanks, dorogoy," Danil said with a chuckle of his own.

He looked at Kyo, who was still sleeping, and frowned. Perhaps it would be best to let the boy sleep... He could easily refrigerate everything, it wouldn't go bad if he gave it to him later. Danil nodded at last, and turned to leave the room. Vaska, eager to go to his litterbox, stretched and kneaded at the pillow and Kyo's head. After a big, long, loud yawn, the cat leapt down and walked past Danil, meowing and purring as he rubbed against his legs for a few moments. Danil chuckled softly. He was about to leave when he heard Kyo stirl...

[Kyo Suzuki]

Kyo's sleep that night into the following morning had been marred with all kinds of nasty dreams. He'd gone out light a light and sunk from one nightmare right into another, and while he could only remember the most potent of them when he awoke the next morning, the feeling of unease and gloom had remained.

Kyo opened his eyes very suddenly from the last of the string of nightmares, which had involved him in some kind of gun battle with Linda's new boyfriend. He'd ended up shooting the man by accident and gotten arrested. He'd already heard from Japan that his family had become horribly embarrassed, that if he wasn't in jail until he was too old to work anyway, his criminal record was going to be smeared for forever. The judge had been thumping him lightly over the head with his judging mallet when giving out the sentence (the result, in real life, of Vaska kneading the pillow by his head, though Kyo couldn't know this), and then Kyo had awoken. It would have been a silly dream, in any other case, but ones like this, ones based off of an inescapable reality, no matter how absurd, tended to be the scariest. Kyo was practically drenched in cold sweat.

The Japanese student raked a hand over his face. The headache, of course, was gone, but that tight sensation, the one that made him feel as though his brain had formed itself into one giant knot inside his head, one he couldn't unfold, remained. It even took Kyo a moment to notice that he was now alone. Though he remembered allowing Zoloto into the bedroom, he was surprised to find the animal was now nowhere to be seen. Kyo had locked the door, so how had Zoloto gotten out? Unless...

Kyo closed his eyes. It hurt to think.

The sunlight streaming into his room through the partially closed curtains reminded him of the beginning of his stay in this beautiful home in an equally beautiful America. He remembered being so positive and hopeful then, someone totally different. He'd been as bright and upbeat as those little rays of sunshine flooding his room now. Yet he couldn't recall how he'd become that way or even consider how he could get back to that version of himself. At the moment, it seemed impossible. Worse still was the thought that in addition to having not solved anything with this issue at hand, not even remotely, he'd gotten his host fathers involved anyway, the result of which had ended up with him being asked to stay home.

Kyo knew he'd needed the rest--a quick look at the alarm clock showed him it was about 10 AM, so he'd slept for over a little over 12 hours!--but he couldn't help wishing he'd gotten up early on his own, insisting he go to school. The thought of having to spend the entire day inside, especially cooped up in bed as Peter had suggested...that was almost as scary as his thoughts about the hot tub. He just didn't want to test himself like that, stay in bed with only his thoughts to keep him company. He wasn't a psychological or medical expert by far, but even at his age he was almost positive he knew when his body did or didn't need something.

That was when Kyo noticed that the door to the room wasn't completely closed. Someone had come into his room then...Squinting against the bright rays of the sun filtering in, Kyo could make out the outline of an almost eerie figure through the narrow opening of the door.

Kyo coughed. "Danyaru-san...?" His voice felt hoarse; he wondered if he really was getting sick then, though he wouldn't have been surprised if that was the case. More than that, Kyo felt uneasy talking to anyone right now. He just....he wondered what someone was doing hovering at the door.

[Angela]

Danil was halfway out the door when Kyo called to him. He turned and smiled, holding the tray, though he became concerned. Kyo's voice was hoarse. He wasn't sure if it was because of grogginess or if it was because of illness. Danil went inside and set the tray down on the desk for a moment.

"Good morning, Kyosan," he said, leaning down to kiss his forehead. He paused, and felt for a temperature, noticing the perspiration. After a moment, he nodded. "I think we made the right call letting you stay home. I hope you slept well. Peter made crepes, I made a smoothie, if you're hungry." He gestured to the tray. "Pete has classes in an hour, but I will be here until two if you need me. I already went to my morning practice." He chuckled. "Peter's out walking Zoloto right now, but when they get back, I'm sure she'll lay with you again." He smiled and picked up the tray. "Would you like to eat?" he asked.

[Kyo Suzuki]

The figure in the door turned at the sound of Kyo's voice. It was Danil, though Kyo instantly felt a twinge of guilt when he saw the breakfast tray in his host father's hands. Even so, the man was still smiling. He crossed the room, setting the tray down onto the nearby desk, still littered with all the homework Kyo hadn't been doing the night before.

"Good morning, Kyosan," Danil said brightly, leaning down to kiss his host son on the forehead.

Kyo donned a smile again, one he hoped didn't look too pained, and sighed softly as Danil pressed a hand to his forehead, presumably to check his temperature. To be honest, he didn't really want to know...

"I think we made the right call letting you stay home," Danil said finally, to Kyo's further disappointment. So he was sick in some way...

"I hope you slept well. Peter made crepes, I made a smoothie, if you're hungry." Danil gestured to the tray resting on the desk now, and Kyo nodded, murmuring a small thank you. It was odd, how he was feeling...He was groggy despite all the sleep, but his mood was still dark in addition. He really did feel completely different from the person he'd been when he'd first arrived here. And now that he could guess how the rest of the day might turn out, he felt even worse. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Danil or Peter's hospitality, it wasn't that at all. He always had. But somehow things had changed. He was feeling so dark at the moment that little seemed to matter except the problem that was at the forefront of his mind. In the future, he might look back on this period in time and think he'd been selfish, and surely he was at this point. But now, all he could think about were his regrets over being sick, being forced to stay in bed, being abandoned to his own unhappy thoughts. The only thing that interested him, for the time being, was the answer to his problems. Then he wouldn't mind sleeping for another entire week before going back to the life he'd lived prior to this pitiful one.

"Pete has classes in an hour, but I will be here until two if you need me. I already went to my morning practice. Peter's out walking Zoloto right now, but when they get back, I'm sure she'll lay with you again."

As Danil spoke, Kyo understood he intended only the best for him, but he still couldn't bring himself to accept it. Stay in bed all day? On any other day, maybe, but now...of all times?

"Would you like to eat?"

Kyo quickly nodded, accepting the option gratefully. He would still be bed-ridden, but at the very least, there would be food to occupy his thoughts for a while. He had no idea what he would do after that. It wasn't like it was a good idea--or even a possibility--for him to sneak out somewhere, somewhere open and with fresh air, and try to work out some short-term solution to everything going on right now.

If he was going to have to focus on this problem, somehow the bed felt far too confined a place to do it. Kyo realized he'd been avoiding Danil's gaze even since the man's entrance into the room and lowered his eyes to his hands again.

[Angela]

Danil took up the tray and gently set it on the bed. He even helped Kyo sit up, propping his pillows for him.

"Here, now," Danil said gently. "Today, you relax. I have a surprise for you. I'll go and get it." He left for a few moments, heading upstairs where the hot tub was. He got the Debussy CD out and took it down to Kyo. "I was listening to this last night, while I spent some time in the hot tub. I was so worried about you, but it really helped relax me a little. I thought, perhaps, it might help you relax." He put the CD in the player, and pressed Play. The first track was Prelude On The Afternoon Of A Fawn. "I wonder if you'd mind me sitting with you awhile?" he asked.

[Kyo Suzuki]

Danil busied himself with helping Kyo sit up, and in the meantime, Kyo fought with himself about telling his host father that he was actually quite okay (even if he actually quite wasn't) and that he really didn't need--or want--the bed time. By the time he was sitting up, laying back against the pillows his host father had propped up for him, Kyo was sure he was fighting a losing battle.

"Here, now. Today, you relax. I have a surprise for you. I'll go and get it."

As Danil left the room, Kyo busied himself with his hands again, studying his own long, slim fingers, the way his hands--he'd never noticed this before--looked awkward, too big for his skinny wrists. He even had a scar on one finger. He couldn't remember where he'd gotten that, or when or how...

Danil appeared in the room moments later, a CD in his hands. Kyo eyed the latter, still avoiding his host father's gaze. In addition to feeling unwell and unhappy, he'd become fairly lazy, too.

"I was listening to this last night, while I spent some time in the hot tub. I was so worried about you, but it really helped relax me a little. I thought, perhaps, it might help you relax."

After Danil had started the CD and the music began to play, there was a pause, an awkward sensation that hung in the air between them, before Danil spoke again.

"I wonder if you'd mind me sitting with you awhile?"

Kyo still hadn't met the man's gaze, but he nodded again. Perhaps Danil would take his emotions and gestures as a result of him being "tired" or "sick." After all, that wasn't so far from the truth, was it? The only thing was, he could hardly imagine how much fun it would be for either of them if Danil remained, what with he being not much in the way of company or feeling social, and especially in consideration of the fact that Danil had his own problems going on in his life right now. In fact, neither of them seemed to be suitable companions for anyone right now, and yet here they were together....

Kyo sighed, the sound muffled by the gentle music coming through the CD player speakers. In fact, the music was beautiful. It reminded Kyo of something he'd like to sing some day, whether for church or just for fun...Though, thoughts about singing and choir were fairly bitter for him recently too. His work in the choir had been the catalyst for his recent encounter with Linda and her boyfriend. It had been the one thing that had continued to egg on the nasty relationship he had with Nic's crush. He didn't think he'd like Linda any more had he not worked with her in choir, but surely he wouldn't have had as much of an opportunity to see her true character, had that been the case.

Though....Kyo sighed again. If he hadn't had so many bad experiences with that woman, then maybe he wouldn't have been in this situation. He wouldn't have come to find out Linda's plans for Nic. He wouldn't have the knowledge needed to protect his friend. Not that he was doing a good job of that now, either, but...

Oh God, nothing felt good for him anymore, especially choir with Linda. Kyo didn't even want to think about the upcoming chorus concerts. He wondered if he could back out, use his sudden "hoarse voice" as the excuse. He wanted nothing more than a "pause" button for this twisted game of life he was failing at living.

"Did you already eat, Danyaru-san?"

[Angela]

Danil smiled a tiny smile as he watched Kyo for a few moments, watched him sighing, contemplating in silence, then shook his head at Kyo.

"I was hoping to eat with you, if that's all right," he told him. "I'll just go and get myself a plate."

He leaned over and rubbed Kyo's shoulder. He caught a more relaxed look, however brief, as the music played. He then went to the kitchen and fixed a plate and got his smoothie. Vaska followed him into Kyo's room. The cat went to the foot of the bed and jumped up, walking up to the tray.

"Vaska, nyet!" Danil scolded firmly, tapping the cat's nose with his finger. The cat merely sneezed, but backed away. He went to Kyo's feet and started kneading the blankets, and after a few moments, curled into a ball and laid down.

Danil chuckled. He pulled the chair out from the desk and set his smoothie on an empty corner. He set his plate on his lap, then proceeded to straighten up the piles of papers. He moved some of the papers, gathered them together, and set them, with the math book, on the floor. He looked at them all, to make sure he kept the order correct as he organized them in a cleaner arrangement. He frowned, confused, at the diagram in Japanese.

"Kyo?" he asked, holding it up for him to see, "What is this? This doesn't look like homework." He eyed him. "My name is on it. I know they're in Japanese but I have been there enough times, and have seen enough posters of me there, to know what my name is in Japanese. What is this?"